Sometimes I wish I can fast forward to five years from now. To the point of where God gave me a vision. He gave me this beautiful vision about a year and a half ago when my twins were in the NICU. My twin girl was just about to be discharged and our son was getting ready for surgery. And I remember asking God to show me something. Show me something to give me hope, ANYTHING! And it came in a flash. This beautiful vision.
I was walking down a hallway. I had two little people walking in front of me. A girl and a boy about the age of 4 or 5. The little girl was on the right with two high itty bitty ponytails. She had a pink backpack on. The little boy was on the left, wearing a dark colored baseball cap, a blue plaid shirt and a dark blue backpack. And without seeing or thinking, I knew they were the twins. They were my babies.
I opened a door and it was a huge church. But it was empty. And we continued through this long white hallway. We walked outside to a garden area where there was a large and beautiful fountain. We walked through and around this little garden area and to a building on the other side of the fountain. We walked into a classroom where there were other little kids there. As we walked in the door, the two little people ran off to play with other kids in there. I turned and continued walking through the classroom through some double doors and placed my bag on a desk. And I turned around and was standing in front of a classroom of older kids, maybe junior high school age. And without thinking about it… I knew I was the teacher. I was the teacher of this class and it was just any class. It was a classroom at a private christian academy.
And then the vision was over. And that’s what I got when I asked for hope at that moment, when my daughter was being discharged after 9 weeks in the NICU and my son was preparing for his 3rd surgery…
I saw my twins as kinders. That was the first time I had ever had endeniable belief that the twins were going to survive.
Many many months later I was planning and brainstorming some things for our non-profit Made For A Miracle. I was so overwhelmed but at the same time I was so happy and excited and eager to get it off the ground. I wanted to make this work. But I had doubt. I honestly did. I thought, maybe I am way over my head and maybe I am not supposed to do this. Maybe I was just being ridiculous one day and acted on an impulse. I asked God again, show me something, Lord. Show me that this is what I am supposed to be doing. If it’s not, let me give this up without feeling sad or guilty.
Then I received a vision. I was at a conference, I have no idea where or what I was talking about or who was there. But I remember seeing hundreds of people at tables, sitting, watching and listening to me. And I was standing at the podium speaking to this large crowd. I just KNOW that I was talking about Made FOr A Miracle. And just like my first vision, it was done. It was like a flash before my eyes. I just knew it was for Made FOr A Miracle. I just KNEW that it was successful. I knew it was years from right now.
And since then, no matter how hard it is, I KNOW it will be successful. But there are times when I meet with other founders of some very large non-profit organization and program directors of successful NICU programs… and I get disappointed and a little discouraged even. Because I want to be there. I want to do that. I want to have that too.
But I have to remind myself how successful we have been so far. I have to remind myself that we have only been “working” for the past 9 months. We have helped over 300 families. We have raised over $5000 to help families in the NICU and PICU. And although it doesn’t seem like much… in reality, IT IS!!
I just have to keep reminding MYSELF that it will happen in God’s Time. All the doors that the Lord has opened for me, for Made FOr A Miracle… it will all keep moving forward in God’s Time.
Our NICU Family Network at Loma Linda WILL happen.. in God’s Time. Our support groups for Coachella Valley families and families in the NICU WILL happen… in God’s Time. Our fundraisers will continue to be successful… all in God’s Time.
I have to be proud of how far we have come… I have to look at those other organizations and build friendships and relationships with these amazing people, founders and organizers because… I’m not there yet… but we will be. Made FOr A Miracle WILL be successful and we WILL help thousands of families…. in God’s Time.