Before Matthew was born, we were told that the magic number we need to pray for is 22. He needs to get to the minimum weight of 22 pounds to be eligible for a kidney transplant.It was highly unlikely that he would survive anything from pregnancy to NICU to after NICU… but we still had a goal. We always held on to hope!
And then one day Matthew reached this amazing magical number. He reached 22 pounds. But then once he got to 22lbs they said, “ummmm, realistically, it’s more like 25lbs that he needs to get to.” *sigh*…. well alright! He held on, he grew and he is enjoying life. He loves life and enjoys it to the fullest extent that he can. And we allow him that. We want him and his sisters to enjoy life every day because life is short.
Today I just got word that the transplant coordinator wants Matthew to get a chest xray ASAP and they want to see him for another transplant evaluation this coming Tuesday.
I am NOT getting my hopes up ……..BUT GOD!!!
This mama has patiently (and impatiently) waited on God’s Timing and I truly believe His time is close. I have been praying and praying and having my moments with God and I know that when it happens, it will happen fast. And everything will fall into place, one after the other.
A flood of thoughts and questions have come through my brain. Is he ready?? Am I ready?? Is our family ready?? Is everything ready?? Should I pack?? Should I tell people?? But if I tell people, then it’ll be REAL!! Is it really REAL?? Is this ALL really happening?? It’s been three years… THREE YEARS!!!!
And after all these these questions, the overflowing flood of emotions hit my heart. And I have been holding in the tears. I have had a headache since Wednesday when we found out the possibilities. And I know that if I let one tear go, they will ALL escape and I will probably cry for hours on end. So…….
I now sit here and just THANK GOD for all we have been through and all that we WILL go through. I am counting down the days until Tuesday but I am doing my best in remembering that all of this is in God’s Time. All of this has been in God’s Plan and all of this will work out according to HIS Will. I just have to embrace the suck and soak it all in. Life is short but it is very very precious.
Please keep my son in your prayers.