Oh this boy… dialysis was poopy today. His blood pressure started off at 153/103 and then got down to 47/32. So he was fussy almost the entire 3 hours. Inconsolable. Days like today i wish mommy can just pick him up and walk out of this place. I picture myself carrying him in a hurry down the breezeway. Almost running and lookong back to make sure no one is chasing us.
My baby doesn’t deserve this. After 2 and a half years you’d think I’ve gotten used to this special life we live, but every day is different. There is nothing “normal” or consistent or routine. He has good days and bad days. –I– have good days and bad days. *sigh*
Today I wish for a cure for other babies who are just starting their fight. Every day I thank God for our life because I know it’s special and it has a purpose…. but today I ask God for this to be over soon… please God, bring his healing so he doesn’t have to have days like this anymore. It hurts my heart to see him like this. His pain is my weakness, but this mama has to stay strong.
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