I bet you would have NO IDEA that my heart was shattered into a MILLION pieces in this picture, on this day, three years ago. Seeing the twins on ultrasound, knowing what was wrong with Matthew and hearing that neither would survive.
(I have perfected my “fake” smile over the years. This was only the beginning.)
At this point I believe it was like a 15% chance of survival. I remember walking out of the Children’s Hospital just holding my belly wanting to hold the babies. The ultrasound tech took their first photo of them head to head. I BELIEVED Callia was speaking to Matthew in her own way. God had them in His hands from the beginning. I had to realize the magnitude of HIS MIRACLE that was going to happen and I had to take hold of my mustard seed and protect it. I had to begin fighting for these two babies!!!
We were still being seen by our regular OB and were in the process of being referred to a specialist. After this photo I went inside and acted like nothing was wrong. I acted as if I hadn’t just heard the ultrasound tech that my sons bladder was still huge. I acted as if I hadn’t just heard that the nurse and doctors suggest termination. I acted as if I hadn’t just seen my twins, my babies, move around in my belly and hearing that they were going to move around much longer. I had to smile and pretend everything was great. I had to smile for the camera.