2019

Emotional Detachment

I wanted to share to this share this again. A post about emotions during a trauma. I wanted to share my real feelings and thoughts from 2017 because I am currently writing an update to this post. It’s been an incredible journey. I use those words often to describe my life these past 5 years… “incredible journey”. Stay Tuned to hear about what they truly mean.

She Believed She Could Believe

I am going to be brutally honest in this post because I think it’s time.

I can’t seem to comprehend the reality of everything going on lately. I have been in Mama Bear Mode for so long, I have detached myself from feeling true emotion.

From day one I have had to fight for Matthew and Callia. And when Callia was well, I have had to continue to fight to avoid death for Matthew on several occasions. My mind clicked to the OFF and I became a zombie for months. My world was so dark I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t see how far my future went with Matthew. I didn’t think there even was a future. I couldn’t help but think ‘not without my son’!!

And when Matthew came home from the hospital for the first time, Mama Bear Mode was switched to ON. I didn’t have time to cry or be sad…

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